I’ve been in need of some positive words, so I found them and figured I’d share! Happy Monday folks, make it a positive one so it shapes your week the same way :).
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Yettiology: Are You To Blame?
I find myself asking this question a lot lately, and after a recent conversation I had with a friend I know I am not the only one that sometimes ponders this question. There are times where we blame ourselves for situations that are far beyond out of our control, and then there are times where we refuse to accept that we are the blame.
While speaking to my friend, let’s call her “Anna”, I found myself giving her advice I should be taking myself. She had recently did some Facebook stalking on her “ex” and saw that he was now engaged to his girlfriend of a year. Anna and her ex had been together for four years, and feeling quite upset she called me with the natural “Why not me?” question. Not because she still wants him, she is over that bridge, but because this was what they were arguing over which brought on the break-up: They wanted different things… so she thought. I tried to explain to her that this was out of her control, but she wouldn’t and still will not accept it. I’ve been in her shoes, hell I am in her shoes. I’ve never been on a romantic date nor been on a vacation with a boyfriend, something I’ve always wanted to do. I see and hear about exes planning romantic weekends, getaways, engagements (etc) and does it hurt like hell? Yes, yes it does. But am I to blame? No… no I am not. Maybe they feel their current girlfriend is worth it, maybe they never came up with such ideas when with me, maybe they love them more. Whatever the case is, it’s out of my hands, so there is no use dwelling on it and blaming myself for it.
Recently, I let go of a couple friendships. They just weren’t the same anymore and with much effort on my end, they just couldn’t reach their peak again. I’m the type of friend that’s going to give one their all, be there for someone all night even when she has a 8 AM meeting in the morning. I’m the friend that’ll give the constructive advice and criticism that one needs to hear in a tone that’s not combative nor insulting. I throw support, love, care and trust in my friends directions and expect the same in return. If we are friends, I expect you not to lie to me. I stated in a few blogs more than few times how much I hate liars. I expect you to be there for me when I need you.
With all that being said, I have been blaming myself for friendships that have gone south even though I am the one that chose to silently end them. “Maybe I could have done something differently” thoughts fill my head on the regular, but now it’s time to realize that this is not the case. I can’t force people to care, I can’t change they way someone interacts with me and I can’t make someone tell me the truth (unless I have my tazor). It’s out of my control, therefore I am not to blame. What I can change is how I interact them and if I want to consider them a friend or an acquaintance. I can change the type of conversations we have that way they have nothing to lie about.
So the real question we should be asking ourselves is: What can we control and what is out of your hands? If you are indeed the blame, turn your mistake into a lesson and use it to make the outcome different next time.
Roomie Tales 1
When moving to New York I was pretty adamant on not having a roommate.
Why?
- Because I lived by myself
- I was accustomed to only seeing my mess & obeying my rules
- And of course, having my own spa duh!
But of course having a roommate would be cheaper especially since I based everything off of my salary at the time. With my new salary I can definitely afford to live on my own, but would I now?
Absolutely not
This is my roommate C (for the sake of her privacy) and so far she has been wonderful. We basically met through twitter, met up in NYC to apartment hunt, had our first disagreement that same weekend, and moved in together last month. We’re quite opposites yet similar in the slightest ways. We’re both new to the city so exploring and getting lost are our thing. Getting to know each other hasn’t been a problem either, which is something I am extremely grateful for. The fact that we both want to be friends, not just roomies makes this experience a little more comforting. I’m not as alone I think I am. She comes home from work, shares her day and even COOKS… yes yes COOKS [ rubs belly ].
Best thing of all, she enjoys getting to know me. Quirky, loud, sometimes rude and extremely indecisive me. I haven’t really held back in being me around her and so far she has been receiving “Crazy Emotional Yetti” really well, even with my soap opera of a life.
Now I know it’s early, so I will not give too much praise, but I think I made a great decision in the housing department. We’re both still adjusting to our new living arrangements and New York City, but having each other to experience this change I think makes it a little easier for the both of us.
P.S. We do tourist stuff together!
P.P.S. AND we’re starting a gym routine… hellllllooooo to the return of skinny Yetti.
New Beginnings… or Something Like That
Friday was my last day at work, and the words dramatic and emotional are more than an absolute understatement. There were tears, there were gifts, there were more tears, and then there were goodbyes. As much as I stated in previous blogs how badly I wanted to leave, yesterday, for a brief moment, I actually questioned my move to NYC. Yes the hours were terrible, the projects were crazy but the talented coworkers friends that care for me like no other group of coworkers can will be hard to leave behind. The few that took the time to understand my craziness, love my quirks and look past my age and see the talent I possess I will never forget.
When one door closes, another opens.
I spent the weekend reminiscing with college friends and high-school friends. Attending my alma-mater’s graduation made me so emotional and grateful for how far I have come. A certain friend / little sister ran up to me in her cap and gown exclaiming “Mama Yetti, I did it like you said I would. I’m going to just like you!”
Which made me think…
Maybe I am too hard on myself. Maybe just maybe I focus too much on what the negative things certain people have to say about me and not enough on the good tat people that care about me have to say.
But honestly sometimes it’s hard to consider such compliments, especially when you don’t see yourself that way… but I will, I’m working on it (I’m always working on it).
So right now as I sit in my favorite place in the world, the “High Line”, I am making little stickies of the positive words friends, family, and even you guys (the readers) have said to me. I’m going to surround myself with them and learn to see them in myself.
Also, with the help of my roommate I am again letting go of friendships and starting to see them for what they really are. People change, relationships change, distance makes things difficult, and new people replace the old.
And that’s okay.
New Beginnings eh? I’m soooo looking forward to this next chapter. Couldn’t be any happier.
Pics from this weekend:
Meet the other half of She’s A 10!
Baby Sister from another family :)
Confession: I Moved To New York
Yeah… You read that right. I left Rhode Island and moved to NYC. I’m even switching jobs. I guess you could say this played a role in my hiatus, but as the equation shows, there was a lot more to it. I know some of you are wondering “WTF!?” But trust me I can explain… with a few excerpts from the private tumblr blog I kept for sanity during my hiatus.
When did you move?
- Mid April
Why did you move?
- I hated living in Rhode Island, New England even… hate it, hate it, hate it.
So Why NYC?
- New York makes me feel alive and it reminds me of being home in London (minus the best family in the world). When I am in London, I feel… creative, my ambition is on high, and I fall in love with my surroundings… even the bummy parts. New York gives me that same feeling, not to mention I am addicted to retail and the city’s culture.
- Honestly I needed a change also. I needed to do something for me, not for my parents, not for my friends, not for anyone but myself. I hated NYC before… until I visited… and then visited again, and then explored. It was kind of my way of breaking free.
Why keep it a secret from people?
- Because when I spoke of the idea certain people were just not supportive, including certain family members and close friends. It kind of came out of nowhere and no one really understood the urge. All I heard was, “it’s so expensive”, “it’s dirty”, “this is just a phase” etc. So I kept it a secret and told a handful of people. I only told my parents the week before I signed my lease - (yes I’m a terrible daughter). Keeping it a secret was probably the best thing I could have done for this huge step. I only wanted to be surrounded by people that would be supportive through-out especially since the move may have left me jobless.
I honestly think this is the most jammed-packed week of my life thus far. I have 6 interviews in the next 4 days and I am moving to New York in 2 days. I’ve spent the last few days packing while disassociating myself from the world… because I am scared someone will tell me what I am doing is a bad idea. I’m scared someone will make me change my mind. I’m scared someone will point out the flaws in my plan to force a new life, a new experience.
- Quontay tells me everyday things will be fine, sometimes I feel she’s more excited than I am.
- Though I see the concern through her facial expressions, Shannon tells me the same thing.
- My Aunty Tai reasons with my doubt every other day and assures me I am doing the right thing.
- Even Mom and Dad try and stay positive for me.
Were you scared?
- Yes, yes, and more yes! I didn’t go away for college, I barely went away for my first job. This is the first time I have been “alone” so hell yes I was scared. But there is more to it, my job gave me the okay to work from home a few days a week so I thought this move was going to easy—wrong. After I signed my lease, began to pack and booked my movers they told me they weren’t going to allow me the flexibility. Naturally I panicked… that’s when I took my hiatus, but then after much thought… I decided I was going to do it anyways. Shortly after my move, I got a job offer working in the department of my choice… so things worked out just in the knick of time!
I am beyond scared. I feel utterly alone, though the few people that know about my move throw me SO MUCH support on a daily basis. This is the biggest decision of my life, I can’t sleep over it, I am going against the orders of my boss… and my stomach is in knots. Don’t get me wrong… I am so SO so excited… but (sigh), I don’t want to fail that’s all. Everything is happening so fast. The move, the interviews, She’s A 10! I sort of feel like I’m over my head.
So… how is it?
- I think… this question will have to wait till another day… otherwise this post will be far too long!
So yeah [ exhales ] now it’s out.
P.S - To those of you that supported my every move in this decision I can not thank you enough. You know who you are and I am forever grateful to have such supportive and caring people in my life [ kisses ]. Mom & Dad, I love you guys more than words can describe :)
Weight Updates / Black Girls Run!
So I am going to be completely honest, because I started this blog to hold myself accountable for my weigh loss progress… or in this case… lack there of. When I decided I was going on hiatus, I took one from the gym also. In fact, I took my hiatus from the gym before I took my blog hiatus. I think I made it to the gym once or twice a week on a good week, but these past three weeks I have done absolutely nothing. On top of that, my eating has been terrible too. With everything going on lately it would be easy to blame my bad behavior on those events, but I am choosing not to. Even with a hectic schedule, I should be able to control my urges for junk food (which actually really hurts my stomach after not eating it for months) and I should be always be able to find a healthier option if I am in need of a snack. My lack of self-control and sheer laziness is the reason why I am seeing that number on the left. I accept my faults and I will fix it.
Remember my motivation tips post? Yeah… well I bought myself a pair or new sneakers to get me going again. They’re obnoxiously bright and so me, but the main reason why I bought them is because I REALLY want to try and become a runner. Not a “oh I’m so cool because I run” runner, but a “I need to clear my head and enjoy my surroundings” runner. I hear so many people speak of this runners high, where you get to place where it’s not just for exercise but it’s something therapeutic to do after a stressful day. Not to mention there is a group of kick-ass women who have turned this horrid activity into a community - Black Girls Run! Just one little problem… I am shy. Every day there has been a group run I’ve gotten dressed for the occasion and laced up my new sneakers… but I never leave the house. I’m not sure what it is… I just can’t bring myself to meet with those wonderful women! Ay yi yi…
The life and times of a complicated 20-something… sheesh!
Motivation Monday: Self-Love, Photo-A-Day Style
[caption id=”attachment_2926” align=”aligncenter” width=”450” caption=”May Photo-a-day Challenge”]
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Are you in?
Just In! Hiatus Is Over!
Yes, yes it’s true!
I am back!
I am rejuvenated!
I am motivated!
I am slightly more emotionally stable!
Now I have thought long and hard about how I would describe the past month or so, and how I would explain myself for abruptly disappearing with not so many words.
Then:
Now that my me-cation is over I feel a little better with how things are working out. So much has changed it’s unbelievable.
Thank you all for being patient with me and I am so so SO excited to get back to blogging!
Speak to you all soon!
Still On Hiatus - Just Saying Thanks
Hey Guys,
I am still on my me-cation, but I just wanted to say thank you for the mini messages some of you have been leaving.
I really do appreciate the support and the care.
Be back soon :)
- Yetti.
Still On Hiatus - Just Saying Thanks
Hey Guys,
I am still on my me-cation, but I just wanted to say thank you for the mini messages some of you have been leaving.
I really do appreciate the support and the care.
Be back soon :)
- Yetti.
Dear Readers, I’m taking a Hiatus
Dear Readers,
(sigh)
Yes it is true. I will be taking a hiatus from blogging, but I promise I will not be gone for months on end.
I just need a little Yetti time right now, and to be honest I should have taken this break weeks ago. You see, even though it is supposed to be “Positive April,” there comes a time when simply putting on a happy face for the world just doesn’t suffice. I have had a lot of personal ups and downs these past few weeks but the past few days have been the absolute worse. It seems as though as soon as I get good news, terrible news follows suit.
I just need a little breaky-break to adjust to what’s happening in life, address my emotions and get myself into a better place.
I hope you all can understand,
Love Yetti.
Motivation Monday: 45 Days Till Miami !!!
So… I am going to be completely honest when I say I don’t think I have done my regular 4 day routine in about 3 or 4 weeks. Between work, She’s A 10 and sheer utter laziness I have been skipping the gym to go home. Luckily for me I have been able to lose a little still and maintain it but I have only 45 days left till my vacation and I am determined to reach a point where I can be comfy in my clothes on the beach.
So I am going BACK to my schedule whether my mind wants to comply! And since motivation is key I will following my own advice of course!
Though I have more than enough gym outfits I did decide to update routine (with some running… le sigh) and I did decide to update my gym playlist. I am aiming for my four day workout… starting this morning, in about 20 mins. Wish me luck and check out the new additions to my playlist!
HAPPY MONDAY
Newly Added Songs to my gym playlist:
** Turn Up The Music - Chris Brown
** Love Come Down- Evelyn Champagne King
** Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes - K.I.G
** Arch Your Back - Crazy Cousinz ft Omarion
** Starships - Nicki Minaj
** I Like To Move It - Reel 2 Real
** Don’t Walk Away - Jade
** Boom Boom Boom - Outhere Brothers
** Jigga What/Faint - Linkin Park & Jay-Z
** African Warrior - Donaeo
** Phenomenon - LL Cool J
** Automatic - Nicki Minaj
She’s A 10! Are you?
SO I have sort of been MIA … and a few of you called me out on it via FB and email. Not to mention a few of you have asked how I am doing on my weight-loss, which I haven’t given much of an update on.
BUT I HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON FOR THIS
A few months ago my friend Quontay and I decided to start an organization that would address women with low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth. We wanted to provide a community for women to come and share their stories and where they wouldn’t be alone. We wanted to create a movement that empowers women of ages to stop trying to fit into societies mold and enjoy and own their individuality.
So we did.
I would like introduce you all to She’s A 10!
We are still in the midst of getting things together but we would love love love for all you gorgeous gals to join the movement and I will do utmost best to keep you all updated on the organization and the events we have coming up!
You can find out more information on our website http://shes-a-10.org, our twitter and our Facebook page!
Don’t miss out on the movement and show the world why you are a certified 10!
PS: I will be back to my regular blogging next week! Pinky promise, healthy lifestyle updates and all!
